Good morning, evening, afternoon, where-ever you are and whenever you need this.
This morning I had internet issues. I am guiding a 7am group meditation and I found out around 6.45 and decided to go on roaming. Afterwards I saw that it was just my telephone and not my computer of which the internet wasn’t working.
I made myself some not-coffee [ a coffee replacer from grains without caffeine ]and a delicious breakfast and I reset the router. I have a fixed morning routine that contains part of a coaching program. It takes about an hour and all of it is online. We are at week 3 which is about forgiveness and inner child healing.
I actually have a thing with this word “healing” because to me it presupposes that something is broken. And I don’t see myself as broken I see myself as remembering myself back in to fullness. But anyway, I couldn’t start the coaching program because of internet. I decided to just let it be and maybe read something instead.
Or why not fully be present with my breakfast. As soon as I took the first bite a memory started flooding in that I completely forgotten about. But. And. My amazing body, that creates everything in physical reality through the assistance of all of me already knew that this was an important one. Hence the internet thingie. The memory led into a couple of more memories all around the same people and around the same theme.
When I was very young I had a strong bond with our neighbour, the woman and their dogs. The husband was an ass to me. He was lovely to his own daughter though. I would sometimes sit their dogs, that were in love with me and I with them, especially the youngest one Ashley. A beautiful Weimaraner that had the full name Afternanny’s Admiration and was a of a special breed and descendant.
We had the most magical connection and we would fall asleep next to each other on the floor while he would put his paw around me. When he would have a nose wart I would have one too, or the other way around. He listened to me like to nobody else. My neighbour was extremely jealous of our connection and he was downright mean to me. This was a grown man mind you, and I was around 4 I believe.
You can imagine what his behaviour has caused to the little child that I was. I remembered also that one day when I was sitting them I found the most delicious ice cream in the fridge and I couldn’t contain myself and ate it. When my neighbour, the woman, asked me about it I lied. To embarrassed to admit what I had done. She kept asking and I kept lying and at one point I lied beyond the point of no return.
Then years later my neighbour, the husband, died of cancer. It was colon cancer and he died quickly and suddenly. In the meantime my mother and my neighbour had gotten into a fight and there was no contact anymore.
All of this. All of this made me realise where certain fears come from, where certain limiting beliefs were rooted and I dove in and worked with it. And it’s only 15 minutes later and I feel like reborn.
Everything is created and recreated in the Now. There is no past, there is no future. There is just now.
I was ready to remember this and work with it. Hence all the external happenings that led to the internal realisations.
You don’t have to go digging for memories ever, they will just show up when you’re ready. Something will happen outside of you, in my case the internet didn’t work and I couldn’t jumpstart the program, so I had headspace for the memory to come up.
What did I do exactly? I went back into the memories with my inner child. I was there as the supporting adult. As the one that keeps her safe and gave her her fears and her hurts validity. I took her seriously and heard her and saw her. I said goodbye to my neighbour that I adored so much. To the dogs and I attended the funeral of my neighbour.
My mother and my neighbour hugged each other when she decided to move elsewhere after the death of her husband. And as it goes with time, things watered and they lost sight of each other.
And I. I am happy that we have this magical life, where we can create everything from just being and allowing. Being joy and being trust.
I recorded a Create Magic Through your Body video a couple of weeks ago. It’s a paragraph from the book that I’m currently writing and you can watch it here.
Much love everyone,
See you in the next one.
Monique