Hey everyone, welcome to this new blogpost of the Dating with Confidence series. You’re in the right place if you are looking to create the best love relationship for yourself. This is the place if you’re ready to take full responsibility for everything that is in your life, including the version of your love interest or your partner.
These articles and audios are not for the faint hearted ones, the ones that give up when the going gets tough. This is for the gutsy ones, the Real Conscious Creators, the ones with balls, with vision, with persistence and mental strength. And don’t worry if you feel that’s not you yet, stick with me and before you know it you’re there too.
Now that we’ve got the frame clear, let’s get into the topic of this blog.
New Rules.
Why new rules? Well because all of the other ones that you operate from are automatically based in old world thinking. They are based in what happens outside of me comes from outside of me. New Rules are the rules that say that whatever you see outside of you see and experience is a reflection of you.
So what are these rules?
Rule no. 1:
Don’t Assume bad stuff. To Assume makes an Ass out of U and Me. Nice play of words and so very true. And what’s more, what you assume you make true, because YOU are writing the script. Whatever you think is true, is true from the mere fact that you are thinking it. So, Assume better than the best.
Another Rule is that it will serve you when you stop finding arguments why you feel the way that you do.
Rather than going through the proverbial trash and dig into your childhood why you feel what you feel and try to understand it …. stop this way of explaining. You will always find the answer you’re looking for, the mere looking for it makes you find the answer. Seek and you will find.
If you really want to figure something out, then figure out why it is you keep holding on to the old story. Because that is all that it is, an old story. Having an explanation is just a way an excuse if you will for you not to have to choose the new story.
Which makes rule number 2:
Stop trying to explain why things can’t work out with someone. Rather start telling yourself the reasons why it’s easy being in the relationship of your deams.
The last thing I will say about this: I heard Bentinho Massaro explain crystal clear how come you haven’t made the choice yet. He said; If your life depended on you changing your thoughts – if you would have a life threatening disease that asks of you only positivity and nourishing thoughts – you would put in the work – but because now you think you have time to faff around, you are.
DECIDE to stop being a victim to your old story. Also decide to stop buying into the dating rules and ideas that have been made up by the collective and that do not serve you.
Some more specific rules divided up into old and new:
Old Rule: When they don’t answer they are just not that into me
New Rule: It means whatever I make it mean, and I choose to feel good now and I will hear from them. Even if I don’t hear from them anytime soon, I have enough fun things to do so whenever I’m aligned, things will turn out exactly as I want them too.
Old Rule: I will wait super long to reply back, because they waited so many hours/minutes/days to answer me too
New Rule: If you are playing games, you can play them until you fall over. The mere fact of seeing it this way, makes it a game.
If you feel you’re going into a game, pause, take a breath and leave the situation come back to it when you feel centred again, even if this means that it will take you a couple of days. I am not kidding here. Even if it takes you a week, a month. This here is about YOU. Your life, your love life, and creating the best love relationship for yourself. You’re one, can take it all. Why? Because you create them, you choose them, they are the best one for you and because they are they are ok with waiting however long for you to get your bearings.
The next rule is based on this one.
Old Rule: I need to reply quick, otherwise they think I won’t be interested.
New Rule: Take your time and put yourself first and only reply when you/ feel aligned
You create the communication with the other person, and it Is what you make it. If you think they don’t have the patience to wait, they won’t have the patience. You write the script remember? And moreover, do you want to create a monster? No you are creating the best person for you. The sexiest, most wonderful and loving person for you that is head over heels in love with you, because you are head over heels in love with yourself. You know how to treat you and you always, ALWAYS put yourself first.
And that, my love, is the most attractive quality in anyone. It means this person respects themselves and when they respect themselves, they respect others. Also being quick, thinking you need to rush, behaving panicky all comes from a lack consciousness. You always have more then enough time to do whatever.
Old Rule: They haven’t contacted me in days, I am really worried and I feel sh*t
New Rule: Feel Good no matter what you think is going on outside. Become so strong and so self-centred and focused on the positive that nothing can make you feel crap about yourself or about life.
There are many more old rules and new rules, and they’re easy to figure out. Chances are the first thing you think in response to a situation is based on an old rule, and from that automatically follows the new rule which is the polar opposite to the old one.
A recap before I leave you to be your amazing and beautiful Self:
Dating is ALWAYS about you. And if you’re worried what about the other person thinks or doesn’t think or if you think that you are putting in the work, but they don’t well first of all what you believe to be true is true. And secondly you can only have a partner that puts in the work too, because you are creating them. You choose the version of them by your thoughts, feelings and your beliefs. And you vibe with ease and respect and love and fun and amazingness and sexyness.
And don’t talk to me about egostistical SP’s or narcistic SP’s or what not. Because first of all, that’s not even a thing and second of all it’s a stage invented by well-meaning people that don’t understand shit. Which is totally fine of course, still love and respect to them. AND I don’t want to live that way and it’s not something I recommend for you either. Create your life the way you want to, or give your power away. Any of these choices are yours to make.
Don’t worry your beautiful heart and head about anything that is seemingly happening outside of you, everything comes FROM YOU. So in any happening that is not wanted, centre yourself, go into stillness, breathe and stop interacting with anything outside of you. Come back to it when you feel centred again. When you are on the New Rule track again.
I had a very interesting situation happen recently that perfectly demonstrates how all of this works in practice and not just in theory.
If you want to dive deeper into this stuff, head over to my Patreon where I will not only share in depth about my own experiences, but will also answer your personal questions.
And if for whatever reason you don’t want to join my Patreon, I love you just the same and I wish you the most amazing and fun dating and love life.
See you in the next. And if you’d like to check the video that belongs to this blog post, click here.
Monique