Hey everyone, I’m writing THE BOOK! Well one of the many that are fighting for my attention. The book that proofs that My Life is nothing short of Magic. And that yours is too…
The other day I was sitting in my second home; café Hapori in Napier here in New Zealand, and the stories literally started pouring out of my fingers. I could hardly keep up. I have experienced this kind of flow before, and it’s not just me at work here.
During my writing spree, I realised that my exploration and allowance of even more magic in my life started in 7 years ago in Berlin. Two months before I made my move over there I had discovered Gabrielle Bernstein after kind of sort of a panic attack and an emotional break down. She was being interviewed by Marie Forleo, whom I already knew, and a couple of days later I “coincidentally” met her in real life. That story is obviously in the book as well.Gabrielle also happens to be the protégé of the author of my favourite poem; Marianne Williamson. Marianne is a student and a teacher of the Course in Miracles and she wrote this poem in her book; A return to Love.
All of the stories that came up got me in a dreamy state, staring out of the window reminiscing about Gabrielle, Berlin, and such when I noticed in the periphery of my vision there was a Newpaper headline that read: Cyclone Gabrielle. Holy Sh*t. Gabrielle and Gabrielle.
And so it is that it came to be. Stories of Magic. Into the stories I’m weaving the teachings of my teachers and mentors: Bashar, Seth, Abraham Hicks, Neville and Lynda Madden Dahl. This book is one that I will love to read myself and that I will love to read to others. And not only because I need them to fall asleep.
The working title is M is for Magic and what you’re about to read, will most likely be the last story in The Book.
Alright, I’ll leave you to it. Enjoy.
TWO HEALTH INSURANCES AND THE TOOTH FAIRY
The audio version for if you’d rather listen than read
When I decided to leave Berlin for good, something I always knew would happen, I had created a wonderful going away challenge for myself, a final act if you will. But before I tell you how it all started and what transpired, I’ll give you this wisdom and my Go-To quote from SETH:
You set your problems in the hope you WILL solve them, not like millstones around your neck.
Let me set the stage for you; Berlin, living at the water in one of the most wanted areas of Berlin. As soon as I landed the place, I knew it would be last station in Berlin. How and what I told you in the previous story. Now it is about something else. The situation, as you might remember was that not only was I living with a lying idiot, who I had created myself and was super pissed with myself because of it, which obviously is the best possible state to be in…. not. I had also created a situation where I had not one but two health insurances. This was a mistake yes. Health insurance is mandatory in Germany, but you only need one. If I could have opted, I would have taken none. But alas, and now I had two. How did I do this? Well, I had some help.
The very colourful personality that I was living with, had stolen and hidden my mail for months. I discovered this about a month or so before I would leave Berlin to go on my current adventure and long time dream; Exploring life and love in New Zealand.
So he/him, was on a short holiday and I was the one emptying the mail-box. I found a letter in my name from my health insurance company which stated that I was behind in my payments. Surely this was a mistake? I was paying my monthly contribution, well the Yoga Studio I worked for part-time did so for me. But when I did some digging, I found out that I had signed up with a different insurance company than they, the Yoga Studio, were transferring the monthly payment to. Oh dear.
To add to the complexity I had to get myself re-registered in Holland too, and I had no idea which German insurance company to direct my soon to be Dutch one to. When I explained the situation to both insurances, it looked like it would be sorted in a jiffy. But that was a bit too optimistic. The going away challenge that I had set myself wouldn’t be that easy.
Both the insurance companies wanted my clientèle. Well actually my money really. I don’t believe they cared that much about my loving personality. There was no idea of knowing who was going to win the battle since both companies had valid arguments. The first one claimed truthfully that I had signed up with them first, so they were the rightful one of having me. The second one had received the bulk of the monthly payments so they were the rightful one to have me. Oh boy.
What’s the big deal?You ask? It’s not like I needed to use the insurance, I was leaving Berlin in a couple of weeks! Well, yes that could have been a scenario. But, So. And. This is what happened right after my discovery of the double insurance; One of my front teeth started to feel funny, and the nerve of what I guessed to be my root canal was swollen and hurt really bad when I pressed on the area right under my nose and above my lip. Eff me not something with my teeth … I couldn’t believe the timing of this.
In my minds eye the story unfolded of me having to get treatment and neither of the insurances wanting to own up to the cost of it, because that is what insurances do. You pay and pay and pay but when you need to claim something they try their best to dodge the claim and I would be stuck with a bill of thousands of Euro’s. Eff me. Why me? I NEVER claim anything on my insurance, I don’t even want to have a bloody health insurance!! And now that I might need to use one, I don’t even know which one would carry my dentist bill if it would even come to that. Fuck, I’m fucked?! But I have to do something, what if my tooth would play up when I was in New Zealand. Oh, no, no, no, NO! I was SO angry with myself. How did I got into this FE REA KING MESS?! I closed my eyes and took a breath and right at that moment my sanity saw its chance and it rushed back in and reared her pretty angelic head.
Oops.
I realised what I had been doing and I was going full force at it, but from the wrong angle. I had allowed myself to get sucked into the: I’m a victim and at the effect of life – way of things. I looked at it from: the linear time life is happening to me – way of things, I temporarily believed the: I’m not safe within myself – way of things. And now that I realised what I had been doing I got angry again. But this time it was a different kind of anger. This was my Kali Ma surging up within me and I could feel my power again. I threw my head back theatrically and shouted out loud;” NO! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION!!”
And now, in the same way as the horror scenario had rushed unto the screen of my mind the opposite scenario could have air time. It all happened in a very jumbled way, all the Seth wisdom and helpful memories all materialised at once as pictures on the screen of my mind and as a deep feeling of relief and determination in my body. To make a sensical story out if it, I will give you the linear account of my happy movie;
First I remembered this block of text from my bible of Lynda Madden Dahl in which she tells the story of her Sister Pam, who had been told it had become necessary for her to carry a personal oxygen supply for the rest of her life. Within a week her sister had been completely free of the illness, because she had screamed exactly what I just did; NO! THIS IS NOT AN OPTION! She had hit, what Lynda so eloquently describes as, the electrical wire of her off-limits psychic field. She had ended the experience, the situation, by not accepting it any longer as a probability in her life.
The SETH quote that I started the story with is always on speed dial in my head and that came up too, together with the India dengue story, let me tell you about it: A couple of years ago I was in India for my first Yoga Teacher Training. It was October and dengue season according to the panicky people that were running the hotel that I stayed at. Even though I was already an avid student and successful practitioner of the Seth material, I had allowed the probability of falling sick with dengue into my reality for a short while.
I had arrived a week or so earlier so that I could practice yoga with the brother of who was going to be my teacher training teacher. The brother had ignited my love for Yoga a year prior as you could read in the story of how yoga and me found each other earlier in the book. I was over the moon to be able to practice with him again, but my state of bliss was short lived. Almost as soon as I had entered his Hanuman shala that looks out over the Ganges, I started sweating like a pig. Like really sweating all over my body. I tried to think it away but it had gotten too strong. I was about to faint so I had to leave the class. How would I get myself back to my hotel room? I got Mittra’s attention, signed to him that I had to leave and stumbled out of the shala, across the road, up the few steps, passed the clerk that looked at me worried and into my room.
Relieved that I had made it to my room in one piece I said to myself ; “Ok, I know that you know what to do, I trust you and I would really like to feel better when I wake up.”
Because of the seriousness of this situation I had no time for even a smidge of worry or fear. I had crossed the threshold of having seas of time for fretting, drama and worry. It was showtime literally. After three hours or so, I awoke naturally. My Inner Self, my beautiful and trusted protector had delivered. I woke up feeling close to perfect again.
Because of this story, I knew that I could do this too. Insurance? Inschmurance. “Monique, you can’t mix and match belief systems” I said to myself. “Either you’re all in, or you’re all out.” And yes, I talk to myself often.
I sucked it up and I got to work. What did I do this time? Same as always, I dove into my knowing and feeling of the simultaneity of time. I felt into the version of me that was living her best life with a healthy tooth, and I refrained from reacting to my tooth. Because Seth has explained and convinced me that it usually takes a while for a belief to produce results in physical reality, just like it took the old belief some time to materialise itself I just went with that.
How long did it take me in the end to change the physical situation? The biggest portion of the pain was gone within a week or two. But. And. More importantly than relieving myself of my pain was my strengthened faith in me and my creative abilities. The absolute faith and trust that I anchored within my being as a consequence of this going away challenge was un-real.
Bashar and the rest say that everything always happens FOR us. And while it is not always apparent during or shortly after the moment suprême, it always becomes clear at one point. And many times have I thanked my God of choice at that particular time for that^^.
So what did I learn from this? How was it for me?
- ….I lost weight that I had accumulated and saved on my hips, because of my lack of hunger, caused by the pain.
- ….it restored faith in me that insurance companies do serve a wonderful purpose and that purpose is to complicate going away challenges even more.
- ….it showed me that tooth fairies are real, and they are disguised as our Inner Selves.
On a serious note though, the faith I got from this going away challenge allowed me to go even deeper into myself and see the world with different eyes.
Bashar says “When you say you know, but you’re not doing it, you don’t know it!” And I knew, I really knew it and I had proven that to myself. And this knowing, is what I tap from now on my current adventure in New Zealand, which is an unfolding story that will be shared at another time in another book.
I’m ending with this beautiful poem. It opened my eyes to the reason why I decided to experience existence on planet earth. I was sitting at my desk and staring at my computer screen, surfing around on the WWW which was part of my last office job. Only this time I wasn’t researching anything for an online media strategy for one of my clients. I was researching how on earth I could get myself out of my current life and into a new one. I was looking for something, for anything that could give me relief of this sinking feeling of pointlessness that was growing inside of my body. I found it, or rather it found me, at exactly the right time, like …. Magic.
As soon as I read it I was lit and I understood it. I’m here to shine my light, I’m here to be all that I can be. I owe that to my life, I owe that to All That IS, I owe it to Me and …I owe that to You.
And it is my wish for you, that This Book and the stories within of my journey so far will do mean to you what this poem means to me.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”